


Love me like you did

by screamtobeheard



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Bottom Luke, Breaking Up & Making Up, Fluff and Angst, Getting Back Together, M/M, Roadtrip, Slow Build, Smut, Top Michael, Warped Tour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-28
Updated: 2016-02-12
Packaged: 2018-05-16 22:02:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5842588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/screamtobeheard/pseuds/screamtobeheard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You idiot! Where did you go?” Calum shouts immediately. <br/>“You know the way you always suspect the worst of me? This time you’re right,” he says.<br/>“Oh my god. You’re taking him to warped tour? What did he do?”<br/>“He agreed actually,”</p><p>After Luke and Michael break up, Michael is miserable. He decides a roadtrip to warped tour could fix things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Desperate measures

**Author's Note:**

> After listening to outer space for 5930 years I just needed to write a break up fic. But then a roadtrip fic came to mind. And then this. Happy reading x

“Morning,” Ashton greets him in the morning at work. He mumbles something that sounds like hello and stares at his computer again. He likes his job, he just absolutely hates mornings.  
“Michael!” Ashton suddenly snaps. Michael jumps and turns to look at him.  
“Stop checking his Facebook. How often do we have to tell you?” He hadn’t even realized he was looking at Luke’s Facebook. He stares back at his screen with a sad sigh.  
“Some guy complimented him on his photo,” he says sadly. Ashton sighs and walks towards Michael’s desk. He clicks away his browsers and Michael’s left staring at his computer background. He knows he should stop this. Ashton looks at him sadly.  
“Mike, you have to let yourself find a way to let him go,” he says softly.  
“No,” he says simply. Ashton groans like he’s dying and Harry snorts.

“You can’t just keep stalking his Facebook forever,” Harry says from the other side of the room. Great, everybody on his work also knows how miserable he is.  
“I need to get him back,” he says to Ashton instead. Ashton raises his eyebrow.  
“How exactly do you plan on doing that? Have you forgotten why it ended between you two anyway?”  
“It’s been 6 months, Ash. It will work out,” he says, trying to convince everybody in the room including himself.

_“I’m just saying, blue will be cool but red is like a more socially accepted colour right?”_  
_“Jesus Michael, just pick something!” Calum shouts angrily over the phone._  
_“Yeah but blue or red? Or purple? What about purple?” he continues._  
_“I’m leaving. Bye,” Calum says and he ends the call._  
_“Cal!” he says into the phone and sighs. He angrily puts his phone away and stares at both colours._  
_“You should go for purple,” someone says. He looks over to see the blond boy smiling at him._  
_“Yeah?” he asks. The blond nods and walks towards him._  
_“Feel like purple would fit you,” he says and points to his hair. Michael smiles and grabs the purple one._  
_“Well thank you, kind stranger.”_  
_“I’m Luke,” he says and holds out his hand._  
_“Michael. So are you also looking for a colour? Because just saying, black.” Luke chuckles but shakes his head._  
_“There will be a day where I dye my hair. Just not today,” he says with a laugh._  
_“What about tomorrow?” Michael asks._  
_“I was actually thinking about 2 years from now,” he says. Michael laughs and they both look at each other._  
_“I could do other things tomorrow though. You want to go for a drink somewhere?” Luke asks him confidently._  
_“Of course.”_

It’s sad that he keeps replaying those memories but he just can’t help it. Calum said the only progress he made in his break up is that he doesn’t cry anymore. He is that pathetic, yes. But he will fix it. He’s going to get his ex back, how dumb that sounds.  
He spends a whole night thinking about what he’s going to do. It’s his roommate Calum who comes to check on him in the middle of the night. Calum’s hair is all over the place and he looks exhausted.  
“Michael. It’s 3am what are you still doing?” he asks with irritation clear in his voice. Michael knows what it looks like; there are empty bowls and empty chocolate bar wrappers all around him and he has a blanket covering him like a cape.  
“I saw that there were still warped tour tickets available. I needed to have them,” he says. Calum’s face lights up.  
“That’s a good idea, Mike! You should go out and you always wanted to go! That’s amazing! You’d finally leave the house!” he says happily.  
“I leave the house,” he grumbles but Calum’s not listening to him anymore. He keeps repeating how happy he is for him.  
“Yeah, well I’m going to sleep now,” he responds and Calum nods.  
“Yeah, you should. Sleep will do you well. I’m so tired,” he rambles. That night Michael goes to sleep with a plan.

He leaves before Calum wakes up. This might be the worst plans he’s ever had but he is desperate. Scratch that, this IS the worst plan he has ever had. He’s driving his van and it looks quite cosy right now. He put some blankets in the back, some pillows. If he put some lights there it would make the perfect tumblr photo. He also has food and drinks and everything you need for a road trip. He’s proud of himself, this is the most he has accomplished in a long time. He drives until he’s in a familiar street when he feels his phone buzz.  
You told me Luke always wanted to go to warped tour. TELL ME YOU’RE NOT DOING SOMETHING STUPID RIGHT NOW.  
Michael tosses his phone away and stops in front of Luke’s house. He’s dumb. He should turn around and go home and tell Calum he was just out for a walk. But he doesn’t do that, because he’s pathetic. What he does, he knocks on the door of his ex.

Of course, he answers. Luke is beautiful. He’s always been beautiful and it’s not like Michael doesn’t stalk him everyday on Facebook to see his pictures, but he’s beautiful. His hair is longer and he has a black lip ring now while wearing flannel. Luke’s expression changes at least twice when he sees him.  
“Hi,” he gets out. Luke smiles slightly.  
“Hey Michael,” he says. No swearing, no screaming, it’s okay until now.  
“Your van looks nice,” Luke says after a tense moment.  
“Thanks, I cleaned it up. Put pillows in it and stuff. I’m actually going on a roadtrip,” he says. Luke raises his eyebrows and walks towards Michael’s van to look at it.  
“Where are you going?” he asks.  
“I have tickets to warped tour,” he tries to say casually. Luke’s eyes widen and Michael can see the excitement on his face.  
“Shit that’s amazing!” he shouts. Then he seems to realize that Michael is going, not him.  
“Wow, have fun,” he says. Because Luke is too nice.

And now it’s time to ruin everything.  
“You’re going with me,” Michael announces. Luke snorts before noticing Michael’s face.  
“What?”  
“I have two tickets. You’re coming with me,” he tries again. Luke stares at him with his mouth open.  
“Why? Why would I go with you?” he raises his voice a little.  
“You always wanted to go, didn’t you. They were still available so I bought them,” he says lamely.  
“And you want me to go with you instead of Calum?” he asks sceptically.  
“Calum wouldn’t appreciate it the way you would.” Luke eyes him for another moment.  
“Alright, I’m coming,” Luke says like he’s daring Michael to change his mind.  
“Okay,” Michael says.  
“But just so you know, this changes nothing. Nothing changes between us, okay?” Luke says firmly. Michael ignores the way his insides turn at that and nods.  
“Alright, I’ll just pack my bags then,” Luke trials off and goes back inside.

It’s now he calls Calum back.  
“You idiot! Where did you go?” Calum shouts immediately.  
“You know the way you always suspect the worst of me? This time you’re right,” he says.  
“Oh my god. You’re taking him to warped tour? What did he do?”  
“He agreed actually,” Michael says stunned.  
“What!” Calum shouts.  
“Michael, you’re going to end up getting hurt even worse than before,” Calum says softer now.  
“I’ll call you later, Cal,” he says instead and ends the call.  
Luke’s standing in front of the door with a bag over his shoulder.  
“Ready?” Michael asks him. Luke doesn’t show anything on his face and nods.  
Michael opens the door and they get in.  
In a few days, Luke will love him again, he’s sure of that.


	2. Got kinda drastic

_Michael is pushed against the door once it closes. Luke’s mouth is on him in an instant. They’re making out like they’d die if one of them stops. Luke bites his neck while Michael runs his hand through Luke’s hair._  
_“Shouldn’t you at least wait until the second date?” Michael teases._  
_“And I thought you were a gentleman,” he breathes while Luke unbuttons his shirt._  
_“Well,” Luke starts. He steps away from Michael for long enough to pull off his own shirt. Michael lets himself enjoy the view and Luke seems to enjoy being watched just as much._  
_“I’m not,” he finishes and yanks Michael’s jeans down._  
_“Alright,” Michael breathes as he steps out of him. His nails dig into Luke’s back when they’re making out again. Luke’s thigh is pushing right between both of his legs and Michael has to control himself not to grind down on it._  
_“Take me to your bed,” he moans into Luke’s ear. They make it there in no time while clothes are spread around the apartment. Once they stumble into his room, Michael pushes Luke onto the bed and climbs on top of him._  
_“God,” Luke breathes as he takes off Michael’s underwear. Michael groans as he grinds his hips down into Luke._  
_“Do you wanna fuck me?” Luke breathes while he wraps his hand around Michael. He moans and fucks his hips up into Luke’s fist._  
_“Yeah, fuck,” he moans and Luke  sits up to get the Lube._

 _They’re not touching long enough for Michael to think._  
_“On one condition,” Michael says when Luke opens the bottle of lube. He doesn’t waste any time and coats his fingers with it before pushing one of them inside. His eyes flutter closed and he lets out a loud groan. Michael’s cock twitches at the sight._  
_“And what condition did you have in mind?” Luke asks slightly out of breath. His hand is moving in and out of himself which is causing Michael difficulties not to stare at._  
_“We’ll go on a second date,” he states firmly. Luke’s mouth curls up into a smile._  
_“Of course,” he says easily. He throws his leg around Michael’s waist and pulls him close._  
_“Fuck me before I change my mind,” he says._  
_“Shit,” Michael breathes._  
_“Do you have-,” he starts but Luke already hands him the condom. Michael rolls it on while Luke’s waiting impatiently. He thrust into him slowly. One of them is moaning loudly but he’s not sure if it’s him of Luke. Luke squeezes his shoulders so hard that it hurts but it only turns him on more._  
_“Come on,” Luke urges and hooks both of his legs around Michael’s waist._

 _Michael starts fucking him and Luke moans. He turns his face into the pillow and Michael kisses his face gently. Luke looks up at him and smiles. He runs his hand through Michael’s hair while pushing his hips up into him. Michael swears and Luke smirks._  
_“You are the cutest,” he tells him. Then both of them turn into a moaning mess. It doesn’t take any of them long to come and Michael is just happy Luke came first because otherwise it would just be embarrassing. He follows quickly after though, panting into Luke’s neck while he comes. His back is covered in scratches but he likes it. He rolls off him with a sigh to see Luke running his hand through the come on his stomach._  
_“Damn,” he says, breaking the silence. Luke grins._  
_“Fuck,” he agrees._

“How’s Calum?” Luke asks after a long tense silence.  
“Yeah he’s fine. He’s writing songs again so that’s cool,” Michael says. Luke nods and Michael notices him looking sad. He knows he probably misses Calum. They got along pretty well. Calum misses him too. He says he doesn’t anymore but he’s sure he’s just saying that to get him to move on. Truth is, everybody liked Luke. He was always so happy because of him even on his job they knew he was completely in love with someone. So when they broke up everybody was also heartbroken. That’s why they should get back together, everyone will benefit from it, really. He just needs Luke to realize this too.  
“What about you? Do you still play guitar?” Luke asks. Michael nods.  
“Not often though. Kinda lost it,” he says. Luke frowns.  
“Why’s that?” Because you broke up with me, he thinks. He doesn’t say it.  
“Stress,” he says instead. Luke probably doesn’t buy it; he could always see straight through him. He doesn’t say anything about it though.

“You want a drink?” Michael offers and throws him a bottle of Fanta.  
“Thanks,” Luke says. It’s awkward. It never was awkward between them. They always had something to talk about, even if it was dumb. And if they didn’t feel like talking, sitting in each other’s presence was enough.  
“Michael, what are you doing?” Luke snaps suddenly.  
“Driving?” Luke groans and turns to him.  
“Why am I here? You could have gone with Calum,” he says.  
“I told you he-,” he starts but Luke cuts him off.  
“Bullshit,” he snaps.  
“Tell me the truth,” he tries. Michael sighs.

“You always said you wanted to go when we were still together. I just wanted another try to bring you there.”  
“Another try at us? That’s not going to happen. Michael, stop the car,” Luke says firmly.  
“No, Luke, please.”  
“Let me out of the car, I’m not going,” Luke says louder. Feeling impulsive, he locks the door. Luke’s eyes widen in realization.  
“Michael,” he threats.  
“Luke,” he replies nervously.  
“Let me out. You can’t force me to like you just because you have warped tour tickets.”  
“I’m not forcing anything. I’m taking you to this thing you always wanted to go to with a really cool van. Is it so hard to accept that because it’s me who’s taking you?” Michael snaps back. Luke doesn’t reply and it shouldn’t hurt as much as it does. Of course he wouldn’t want to go with his ex. God, he’s so stupid. He swallows down his sadness and is prepared to turn around and bring Luke home when he sees him settling down in his chair again. He eyes him and Luke gives him a look but doesn’t say anything. He takes a sip of his drink and they carry on in silence.

 _“You know,” Luke starts once they’re lying in bed, cuddled close. He’s playing gently with his hair._  
_“I think I really like you.” Michael smiles._  
_“You think?”_  
_“I’m almost certain,” Luke says with a grin. Michael runs his hands up and down Luke’s back softly._  
_“Well, I’m pretty sure I like you back,” he says. They’re both all smiles that evening._


	3. All we do is drive

This might have been the weirdest day each of them ever had. They’re both silent, both pretending this isn’t awkward or weird. At some point Luke tries to change the music and scoffs when he sees Michael’s cd’s.  
“What?” he asks defensively.  
“Still listening to All time low, I see?” Luke asks. Michael shrugs.  
“I still like them ,so yeah,” he says. Luke bites his lip and hesitates but ends up playing the cd. The first song is satellite and they both listen to it quietly. Michael thinks Luke will keep the act that he doesn’t like it anymore but he doesn’t. They both used to love All time low.

He starts humming along softly. He sees Luke smile from the corner of his eye. He looks at him and returns his smile.  
“We were just kids, we were just kids singing,” Luke sings along. He laughs and joins in with the na na na’s on the background.

_“You have to meet my roommate,” he says one evening when they’re both eating in Luke’s apartment. Luke eyes lit up._   
_“You want me to meet your roommate? I get to see your place,” he says excitedly. Michael snorts and nods. He stares at his plate._   
_“You’re actually going to be the first, so feel special,” he confesses. He expects a lot of things then. But he wasn’t prepared for Luke’s gentle eyes and smile._   
_“I always feel special with you,” he tells him. Michael has a hard time to conceal his red cheeks and smile._

“Mike, pull over I gotta pee,” Luke says when they’re halfway through the album. Luke must have noticed his eyes widening because he rolls his eyes and sighs.  
“I’m going to run or something, jeez.”  
“I didn’t say you were.”  
“Just stop somewhere, yeah?”  
“Of course.” Luke tenses up and he notices what he said wrong. Well he didn’t really say anything wrong. Little while back that was a good thing to say, they said it all the time. It was their version of ‘okay’ because Luke was a huge sap. Still is judging by his face. He’s not sure if he should apologize or not so he stays quiet until he stops at a small restaurant. He gets out too and Luke gives him a weird look.  
“What? I want a donut or something.” Luke snorts but goes to the toilets straight away.

When he has two donuts, he calls Calum again.  
“Hi,” he says lamely when he picks up.  
“Really? You kidnap your ex and run away and all you have to say is hi?” Calum nearly yells.  
“I didn’t kidnap him!” he defences.  
“What are you honestly trying to do, Mikey?” he asks calmer.  
“Don’t know. I’m still waiting for the feeling of ‘I fucked up’ it hasn’t come yet.”  
“You are impossible. How is Luke anyway?”  
“The same. Prettier than I remember. I think he hates me.”  
“He probably doesn’t. You haven’t talked to him since that fight. People say a lot of things they don’t mean then,” Calum says.  
“Shit he’s coming back,” he says quickly.  
“Be careful, yeah? And keep me updated.”  
“Yeah yeah, bye. Love you.” He hangs up and cringes at himself. Luke looks at him with an amused grin too. Great.

 “Your mom?” he guesses. He should say yes, because she’s the only one he says that to. But he panics and shakes his head. Luke frowns but his face is blank.  
“Who then?”  
“Uhm, Calum,” he says and feels his face redden. Luke stares at him before looking at his phone.  
“You say that to each other now?” It could be meant as teasing but he isn’t sure.  
“Well, you know us. We’re the bestest friends ever,” he says in a high pitched voice. It makes Luke laugh and the tension leaves his face.  
“Want a donut?” he offers and Luke takes it.  
“So warped tour. It’s gonna be awesome,” Luke says finally. Michael smiles brightly.  
“I know. Neck deep is coming.” Luke looks happy. Michael has missed him, so much.

 “Thanks, Mikey,” he says softly when they’re back in the car.  
“Don’t worry it was like 1,50,” he says as he starts the car.  
“Not for the donut. For like, you know. This,” he says. Michael can’t handle staring at him for too long. He’s afraid he’ll just confess his love for him and kiss him again. But he can’t.  
“Yeah, it’s fine. I mean, it’s you,” he says. His throat tightens. Luke clears his. They drive.  
Don’t you go starts playing and they both pretend to not understand what he’s singing.

_“So you are the famous Luke Hemmings, huh?” Calum says with a huge smile on his face._   
_“ I guess I am, has he told a lot about me?” Luke asks with a smirk. Michael hates him a little bit then. But he loves him a little bit too._   
_“Oh you don’t even want to know. He told me more than I wanted to know really. Keeps bragging about your eyes too,” Calum says. His cheeks heat up._   
_“Cal,” he pleads but Luke grins. He pokes Michael’s side._   
_“Awww,” he says teasingly. Michael rolls his eyes but rubs Luke’s waist affectionately. They watch guardians of the galaxy together that evening. Calum seems to like Luke which makes Michael really happy._   
_“I’m going to bed, are you staying over Luke?” Calum asks him. Luke eyes Michael quickly and Michael nods. Calum raises a eyebrow at Michael._   
_“We’ll be quiet,” he says with a grin. Luke snorts and Calum grimaces but walks out anyway._

_“Now he doesn’t like me anymore,” Luke teases. Michael smiles and plays with Luke’s hair._   
_“He loves you, I’m sure of that.” Luke beams proudly._   
_“I like him too. Like your place too,” he adds._   
_“What else do you like?” he urges with a tug on his hair. Luke moans softly._   
_“Want me to tell you or show you?”_   
_“Hmm, why not both?” Michael asks, putting both hands on Luke’s hips._   
_“Am I the first boy to come over here, then?” Luke asks instead. Michael blushes._   
_“You might be. You happy about that?” he teases. Luke smirks and bites Michael’s lip._   
_“Of course.”_

It’s less awkward between them now. They still talk like they avoid things, like they’re talking about everything except the important and obvious one. And they are. But Michael figures it’s too early for that. They’re listening to You me at six now while Luke is humming along. Why the hell did they even break up? No, don’t think about that, not now.  
“What is it?” Luke asks.  
“Hm?”  
“You’ve been staring at me for like two minutes, what’s wrong? Getting tired?” he asks genuinely.  
“It’s only 4pm, I’m not tired, Luke,” he assures him. Luke shrugs.  
“Alright then. You hungry then? I’m bored as hell.” Michael laughs.  
“You’re so demanding. Want to play a game or something then?”  
“What twenty questions?” Luke asks teasingly. It nearly feels like they’re flirting. He wishes they were.

“I’m not that desperate,” he shoots back. Luke laughs.  
“Desperate enough to ask me to go with you to warped tour.” Ouch. He doesn’t try to show that that in fact hurt.  
“Who am I to talk, I agreed anyway. Guess we’re both desperate,” he says. Michael doesn’t look at him, focuses on the road. Are they? Both desperate? Desperate for what exactly? For each other? For company? Don’t think about it. Don’t ask him about it.  
“I spy something blue,” Luke announces loudly.  
“Luke no,” Michael protests with a laugh.  
“Something blue!” he repeats louder.  
“There aren’t any blue things here.”  
“Maybe you’re not looking well enough.”  
“That sign there?”  
“Nope.”  
“That trashcan?”  
“Nope.” He hums and keeps driving. It’s quiet on the road luckily, because if it wasn’t he’d be distracted too much by Luke the whole time.  
“Michael. I’m waiting,” Luke singsongs.

“Bossy, much?”  
“I’ve always been bossy. Now, something blue.” He was always bossy. But he didn’t care most of the times. Michael knew how to handle it for the most part. He was bossy in bed too. He should not think about that right now. Definitely not. Stop thinking about it, Michael, he tells himself. He feels his face redden a bit at the memory.  
“My hair?” he guesses eventually.  
“Yep,” Luke says. Michael snorts.  
“That was the most unexciting game I’ve ever done,” he tells him. Luke shrugs.  
“Where do you want to sleep tonight? We can stay in the van or get a motel room somewhere?” Michael suggests. Strangely enough, Luke is more okay with it than he thought and he answers motel room almost immediately. Maybe he doesn’t actually hate me. He shouldn’t ask. But he’s stupid.

“It’s good to see you again, Luke,” he tells him instead. Luke pauses what he’s doing and turns to him with wide eyes. Michael shifts nervously and focusses on the cars in front of him that aren’t moving. Just his luck.  
“Yeah. I, uh, yeah. You should, uh, drive,” Luke stammers. Michael nods and does. He starts to think that this even though it makes him feel better than he has in weeks, also makes him feel worse little by little.


	4. Heart shake, bend and break

“God, I love McDonalds. You have no idea how long it has been,” Luke nearly moans as he takes a bite of his burger. They’re sitting in the back of the van eating. They’re sitting close to each other, their knees touching comfortably.  
“I have some idea. You and your obsession to eat healthy,” Michael says with a snort. Luke makes a noise but is too focused on eating.  
“You should do your hair like that more often. It’s cute messy,” he says. Michael scoffs.  
“Cal says it looks like I haven’t brushed my hair,” he says.  
“Have you?”  
“No, but that’s not the point, Hemmings.” Luke laughs and gives him a gentle push. It’s the first time Luke touches him in 6 months.

  _“Mikey, come on,” Luke whispers in his ear._  
 _“Luke, we’re in public, fucking hell,” Michael curses and tries to push Luke’s hand off his thigh. Alex gives them a funny look. He doesn’t say anything luckily._  
 _“But I want it, baby,” he tells him. Michael flushes and his dick twitches in his pants._  
 _“Later. I promise,” he assures._  
 _“You better keep your word,” he whispers and kisses his neck once. Then he turns away and talks to his friends like nothing happened. Jack and Alex laugh at someone he says. His eyes twinkle so beautifully when he talks about something he’s passionate about. God, he’s so in love with him._

“Come on, we’ll drive for a little and then you can sleep, yeah?” he assures a sleepy looking Luke. Luke whines. Michael snorts and starts searching for a motel. Luke has just started to drift off a little when they stop. Michael’s eyes are burning too. Sleep never sounded so good.  
“Luke,” he says gently and pushes his shoulder. Luke lets out a sleepy sound and turns further into the window.  
“Come on, we’ll get you a real bed, yeah?” he tries again and Luke finally opens his eyes. He nods and gets out of the car.  
“You get the stuff, I’ll get us a room. And don’t fall asleep,” Michael teases. Luke gives him the middle finger.

_“Babe, you awake?”_   
_“Hmm, what?” Luke rasps sleepily. Michael strokes his back absently._   
_“You should probably stop whatever you’re doing,” he tells him. Luke turns to him and opens his eyes. He reaches out and cups Michael’s cheek._   
_“’Cause you’re making me fall in love with you,” he whispers. Luke smiles, he rubs his thumb over his cheek._   
_“Is that bad?”_   
_“Terrible.”_

He might have fucked up again. A lot. Or not, he isn’t really keeping track anymore.  
“I thought you would get us two beds?” Luke snaps when he sees the room. He doesn’t look as tired as before.  
“I thought so too,” he lies. Luke doesn’t buy it.  
“I can’t fucking believe you,” he swears.  
“We’re not together, Michael!” he snaps.  
“You think I don’t know that?” he shouts.   
“Clearly you don’t. People don’t share beds with their exes. That just doesn’t happen!”

“It’s just sleeping!”  
“Right, so if I slept in the same bed as Joe that’d be perfectly normal?”  
“That’s different.”  
“How? We’re not together anymore. It’s just as weird with you as it would be with him,” Luke says angrily as he sits on the bed.

 “I thought we were different,” Michael says sadly. Special is the word he wants to use but doesn’t. Luke doesn’t say anything. Michael swallows and is out of the door. He doesn’t even know where he’s going. He ends up sitting next to his van outside. That’s when the tears fall. It’s foolish of him to only remember the good things about their relationship. There were bad things. Fights, a lot of them. When they broke up, it was Michael’s fault. He has a reputation of being stupid with his love life. He should just bring Luke tomorrow to warped tour and leave. He could probably get home himself. He doesn’t know how long he sits there when Luke sits down next to him. He has both arms wrapped around himself because he’s too dumb to put on his jacket, typical Luke. Michael wipes his eyes quickly.  
“Hey,” Michael mumbles.  
“Sorry for that. I was overreacting,” Luke says.  
“No it’s okay, I understand. I’ll get us a room with two beds. Or two rooms, whatever you feel comfortable with,” he tells him. Luke nods. He bites his lip and looks at Michael.  
“Michael, I didn’t mean everything I said when we were fighting,” Luke tells him.  
“We fought a lot, it’s fine,” he forces out.

“You know what fight I’m talking about. You’re not pathetic. You know that right?” Michael shrugs and snorts a bit.  
“I’m a bit pathetic,” he replies. Luke frowns and pushes him.  
“Don’t feel sorry for yourself, that’s not like you,” he teases. Michael laughs a little. Then he carefully leans against Luke a little. Waiting for him to push him away, but he doesn’t. They sit there for another moment before Luke pushes him away, complaining about being cold. They make their way inside where Michael walks back to the woman  behind the desk who got him the room.  
“Hi, I was here earlier and I may have made a mistake with the room. We need two beds instead of one,” he begins awkwardly. Luke waits for him, he doesn’t look angry anymore, thank god for that.   
“Sir?” the woman calls when he was lost in thoughts again.  
“I’m afraid we don’t have any rooms left with two beds today. We can offer you two separate rooms with a single bed?” she suggests.

Luke seems to have heard her because he walks towards Michael.  
“What’s up?” he asks Michael and squeezes his arm gently.  
“They only have two separate rooms. What do you want?” Luke hums.  
“You know, it’s not that big of a deal to share a bed,” he mumbles. Michael raises his eyebrows. The woman gives them a apologizing smile.  
“I can understand the problem now, I apologize,” she tells them. Luke frowns. Michael wishes he won’t say anything.  
“Problem?”   
“Yes, I understand why it would be a problem for you two gentlemen to keep the room with the shared bed,” she says with a forced smile.   
“Oh yeah?” Luke says. Michael knows that voice. He gives Luke a look but he’s already talking again.  
“Could you please explain why you think it would be a problem for me to share a room with my boyfriend?” he sees her shocked face. She blushes.  
“Oh I’m not saying it would be a problem I just assumed, I apologize,” she rushes out.

“It’s alright,” Michael assures her but Luke’s still frowning.  
“We’ll take the room, right Luke?” Michael urges. Luke opens his mouth to talk when a couple behind them speaks up.  
“Can you two fags hurry up yet? There are other people here,” the woman behind them complains.   
“Excuse me?” Luke snaps immediately. Michael squeezes his arm in a warning.   
“You heard me,” the woman says. Knowing Luke, they won’t sleep here tonight. Not without first having a fight at least.  
“We take our goddamn time if we want to,” Luke spits.   
“Luke,” Michael hisses.  
“It’s fine, come on,” he says.  The couple behind them sighs loudly. Luke’s face is flushed.  
“Actually, I think we’ll sleep somewhere else,” Luke tells the woman. She nods with red cheeks. Michael nearly drags Luke out of the motel. He’s still boiling with anger.

“Chill,” Michael tells him with a grin.  
“Fuck you,” Luke tells him. Michael snorts and walks back to the van.  
“We’ll drive somewhere else, yeah?” Michael promises.   
“I wanted to kill them,” Luke swears. Michael smiles.  
“I know, good thing you didn’t.”  
“Only because of you,” Luke mumbles. Michael doesn’t respond. He pretends he doesn’t hear him.   
“Can we just sleep in the van or something? You said you put pillows and blankets and stuff in it?” Luke asks. Michael nods immediately. They crawl in the back of the van. Calum even put small curtains in front of windows once. He told him it was in case he ‘wanted to bang Luke without strangers seeing it’.

Luke seems to remember too because he smiles when he covers the windows with them. He kicks his shoes off and rolls himself in the blankets. Michael smiles fondly at him. Luke raises his eyebrows.  
“Don’t get any ideas,” he warns.   
“Of course not.” Luke rolls his eyes. Michael climbs in next to him. He doesn’t know if he’ll sleep better or worse now Luke is next to him. He doesn’t fall asleep for 30 minutes. He’s uncomfortable and cold. Luke groans next to him and rolls on his side.  
“I’m freezing, come here,” he tells him. Michael doesn’t have time to ask why before Luke presses himself to Michael’s back. Michael’s breath catches in his throat.  
“Shut up, it’s just sleeping,” Luke says.  
“Yeah,” Michael replies dumbly. He pretends not to accidently cuddle into Luke in the middle of the night. And he pretends not to notice Luke doing the same to him.


	5. I can't find the nerve to say it's alright

 

When he wakes up, he doesn’t dare to move. He barely dares to breathe, actually. Luke is still pressed against his back, with an arm around Michael’s waist, holding him close. Michael woke up around 10 minutes ago but he doesn’t dare to move. Because if Luke wakes up, the moment will be ruined and he’s not sure if he can handle that. So he closes his eyes and listens to Luke breathing as he hopes to fall asleep again.

_“You put pillows and a blanket it the back of your van,” Luke notices as he climbs in. Michael nods proudly._   
_“It’s more comfortable if we’ll sleep here that way,” he says._   
_“Just sleep?” Luke asks innocently. Michael grins at him._   
_“You’re the worst,” he tells him._   
_“I know. Why don’t you show me how bad I am?”_   
_“Jesus Christ. Get in the back then,” he says and Luke climbs over his chair to get there. It’s not very attractive but Michael thinks it’s adorable. He’s on him in an instant, both grabbing each other desperately._

He nearly shivers at the memory. That night had been amazing. He had scratches on his back for a week and Calum had called both of them kinky freaks. Luke had held him close and told him he loved him over and over. He can still hear him saying it in his head. Behind him, Luke lets out a sound and moves. He’s waking up, Michael realises. He keeps his eyes shut, still pretending to be asleep. He feels Luke shift and sigh. The hand on his waist freezes for a second. Then it hesitantly moves towards his stomach and rubs there gently.

He wants to wake up and turn around as much as he wants to keep his eyes shut. Everything is a confusing blur when Luke doesn’t stop. He’s breathing softly against his neck while rubbing his stomach in small circles. He should let Luke know he’s awake, probably. He almost feels like he’s taking advantage of him somehow. He shifts and groans, pretending to wake up. Luke seems to believe it as he quickly removes his hand. Past Luke would kiss his shoulder or move the hand from his stomach to between his legs but that was past Luke. This Luke doesn’t love him anymore. Maybe he should realise that now.

“Hi,” Luke says sleepily as he rolls on his back. Michael hums and sits up.   
“You want to go eat somewhere?” Michael asks. Luke hums in agreement.   
“Want to go get waffles? You like waffles,” Luke mumbles sleepily.  Michael doesn’t respond for a second.  
“Yeah,” he just says. Luke sits up and runs his hand through his messy hair.   
“I slept great, didn’t expect that from a car. It was way better than that hotel probably would have been,” he says. Michael snorts.  
“You were a dick,” he says. Luke gasps.  
“No I wasn’t! They were being a dick! I was just standing up for us.”  
“Of course,” Michael replies. This time, Luke keeps eye contact with him. He opens his mouth to say something, but he doesn’t.

 “We should probably drive, we’ll be there in like 2 hours so we can eat first and stuff,” Michael says. Luke nods, there falls a silence again. So Michael puts on music and turns it up loud. He should just go there, have fun, go home, and forget Luke. That’s his new plan, even though everything in him hurts by just the thought. Soon, they’re driving again, both sitting in silence while listening to the music.   
“You’re not very talkative this morning,” Luke complains. Michael snorts but doesn’t say anything.  
“Seriously though, did you have a nightmare?” Luke asks softly. Michael’s heart aches a bit at that.

_He’s trashing around on the bed, sweaty and heart pounding in his chest when Luke’s hands are on him._   
_“Hey hey, baby, it’s me,” he whispers. Michael blinks rapidly. Luke smiles at him gently._   
_“It’s just a nightmare, love,” he whispers. Michael nods and lets himself being pulled into Luke’s chest. His heart is still beating too fast. Luke rubs circles on his back while humming something Michael doesn’t recognize._   
_“Just go to sleep, it was just a nightmare.”_

“No, I slept fine,” he says coldly. Luke doesn’t say anything for a while.  
“Did I say something wrong?” he carefully asks. Michael feels tears well up in his eyes. He shakes his head. They arrive at a small restaurant. Luke finds them a table. Luke got a bacon sandwich while Michael got pancakes. He’s not even that hungry. Luke is happy this morning, he’s excited and can’t be able to stop himself from rambling about warped tour today. He thinks it’s cute, but he’s not sure if he can handle Luke being cute anymore.   
“Mike, smile, it’s gonna be a good day,” Luke tells him with a smile. Michael gives him a look.  
“Since when do you tell me to smile?”  
“Since you look sad. Now smile and hurry up.” And so he hurries up.

 They make their way back to the van, where Luke changes clothes and Michael stands outside to make sure he doesn’t have the chance to look at him. Then they switch and Michael changes clothes. He’s wearing black skinny jeans and a loose t shirt. Luke looks amazing as usual and Michael is sure Luke will get a lot of attention from girls there. Maybe he should, maybe that’s how Michael will finally move on. After his heart has been brutally stepped on, of course. Luke keeps rambling the entire ride while Michael just listens. It’s okay for a while until Luke snaps.

“Are you being weird because I held you last night because you have been acting like this since this morning,” he says irritated.   
“I’m not acting weird,” Michael says simply. Luke sighs dramatically.   
“You’re the same as always,” Luke mutters.  
“How am I then, exactly?” Michael snaps now.   
“Don’t do this,” Luke threads. 

They shouldn’t fight, but fuck it, he has to forget Luke after this. He pulls over and stops. Luke sighs dramatically again.   
“We’re doing this then?” Luke asks.   
“What do you mean by this?”  
“Fighting, haven’t we done that enough?” Luke says. Michael shrugs.   
“Was our thing apparently,” he replies dryly.   
“Was. Exactly. We’re not together so we don’t have to fight like we are,” Luke says.   
“I’m fine with that,” Michael replies. Luke is not satisfied.  
“No, you’re doing it right now! The whole silent treatment thing. Stop doing it!”   
“Well goddamn Luke, I can’t fight but can’t be quiet either? What do you want me to do?” he raises his voice now and Luke does too.  
“Just stop being like this! You’re being tense and weird around me and I hate it!”  
“Because we’re not together right? I’m just acting normally,” Michael says calmly. Luke breathes out with a glare.

“You’re acting like I broke your heart,” Luke says softer now.  
“You did,” Michael breathes.  
“You broke mine too, you know,” Luke replies, his voice a bit wobbly. If Luke cries, Michael will too.  
“I wasn’t ready, Luke,” Michael says softly. Luke sighs and nods.  
“I know. It’s not fair to pretend that’s your fault. It’s not.” Michael is holding in his tears; Luke probably is too.   
“You’ll find someone, who is ready,” Michael forces out. Luke meets his eyes. He nods.  
“You will too, Mikey,” Luke says. They sit there for a little while. It should be raining, Michael thinks. Because that’s the mood they are both in right now. After a while, Luke sighs and slaps his own thighs.  
“Well, this sadness is not needed today. We’ll have fun today, yeah? It’s gonna be great. Together or not,” Luke says. Michael manages to nod. He smiles at him and Luke returns it.

  _“I’m just saying, it’s a big step to move in together,” Michael says. Luke grins._  
 _“I know right, but it’s with you,” Luke singsongs. Michael shifts on the couch where Luke is leaning against him. He wants to live with Luke, but it’s so much, so soon. What if he won’t love him after living with him for a few months? What if he will change his mind? Why would anyone stay with him?_

_“Don’t you think it’s too soon?”_   
_“Why, do you?”_   
_“I don’t know. It’s like. I don’t know what if we won’t be together in a few months?” he says it jokingly but he feels the anxiousness of it. He might have expected Luke to comfort him but he doesn’t._   
_“What do you mean what if? Why’d you think that we won’t?” he asks frowning._

_Shit. This is not going how he wanted it._   
_“I don’t mean that I think we won’t. I just wonder what if?”_   
_“Yeah but what if we stay together forever. Could also happen,” Luke says blankly. That thought should not make him as terrified as it does._   
_“What?” Luke asks annoyed._   
_“Nothing,” Michael replies._   
_“Of course. It’s always nothing with you is it? I asked you to move in it wasn’t a fucking proposal,” Luke snaps now._   
_“I don’t think I’m ready,” Michael confesses. Luke stares at him._   
_“Because you think we won’t work out?” he asks in a sad wobbly voice. Luke’s eyes are wet. Michael nods. Luke swallows._   
_“Okay. Then I don’t understand why we’re still doing this,” he says. It’s as if his heart is being crushed._

_“No, Luke. Don’t say that. Please,” Michael rushes._   
_“You know I have problems with this. Like being with someone,” Michael says. There are tears on Luke’s face now and there probably are in Michael’s eyes._   
_“I thought we were different. Why can’t you just trust us enough that it will work out?”_   
_“Because if I lose you it will break me,” he breathes._   
_“And it won’t break me?” Luke yells. He’s standing now, red cheeks and tears streaming down them._   
_“I love you,” Michael tries._   
_“And I love you too, but that won’t matter, will it? If you can’t even picture us together for another year,” Luke spats. Michael doesn’t say anything._   
_“God, you’re pathetic, get out. We’re done,” Luke says._   
_“What? Luke, please don’t do this. Please,” Michael cries._   
_“Stop. We’re breaking up. Just leave,” Luke manages to get out._

 He replays their break up sometimes. Now it doesn’t feel as bad as it used to. Maybe this trip was more for him than them together. And maybe he’ll never stop loving Luke, maybe he’s that kind of guy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okayyy don't worry there's still one chapter.   
> (and hope bc I secretly hate angst)


	6. So close tonight, some day we'll get it right

There’s loud music everywhere. He’s surrounded by people, most of them in their twenties as they’re all singing along, dancing or just drinking something. It’s amazing, is the thing. He’s been excited for this to happen for a long time now. And now he’s here and can’t stop staring at this certain blond that’s singing along. Something changed between them. after the talk they had, Luke’s acting more at ease with him but at the same time just different. Michael knows it’s for the better. When Luke looks at him though, his face happy and excited, Michael swears it’s worth it. It’s worth all the heartbreak, Luke always is. 

But some things are just too much too handle. So he walks to a somewhat quiet place and calls Calum.  
“Mike! How is it? Is it amazing? You having fun?” Calum asks brightly.  
“Yeah, it’s nice. Amazing and such,” he tries to sound excited.  
“You’re not okay, are you?” Michael sniffs in response.  
“Can you do me a favour?” he asks, his throat a little tight.  
“Of course I will,” Calum quickly says. Michael lets out a little sob at his choice of words.  
“Fuck, sorry. I didn’t mean- okay what do you need?”

“Can you take Luke home? I’m his ride and I just can’t be here anymore. I don’t know how long he wants to stay here. I just wanna go home and eat ice cream to be honest,” he tells him.  
“You finally gonna cry and move on then?” Calum asks, sounding a bit sad.  
“Yeah. Can you though? I’m going home now.”  
“Yeah, I’ll take him home. Just tell him you’re leaving so the kid doesn’t lose his shit,” Calum warns.  
“You know, I really love you Cal,” Michael says with a smile.  
“Don’t get all sappy on me, just come home.”

Michael ends the call and goes looking for Luke. It’s not that hard since he’s a giant and he finds Luke soon enough.  
“Hey,” Luke breathes. He’s sweaty and gross, but still looks great.  
“I just came to tell you, I’m going home. Not feeling well,” Michael says. Luke stares at him full of concern.   
“Shit, you alright? Should I come with you?” Michael shakes his head. This is the time he says goodbye. Forever, hopefully.  
“No, you stay here and have fun. Calum will bring you home. I’m going,” he trials off.  
“Is this you saying goodbye or something? Like we can still hang out? Even as friends? Luke tries. Michael shakes his head again.  
“Not to boost your ego too much, but I need time. To get over you for real now. You should move on too,” Michael tells him. Luke’s frown has increased and he doesn’t look happy anymore. 

“I don’t-,” Luke starts but doesn’t quite finishes.   
“Just have fun, yeah?” Michael tells him, ignoring the sadness in the pit of his stomach. Luke nods and Michael is about to walk away. He takes a step back but suddenly there’s a hand on his waist pulling him back. Michael’s about to say something when there’s a mouth on his. Just as fast as Luke kisses him, as fast pulls he back though. Luke stares at him with wide eyes like he doesn’t believe either that he just did that.  
“Go home,” Luke tells him. And so Michael turns around. He walks away through the ground. Soon walking turns into running until he’s in his car. That’s when he starts crying. 

When he comes back to their place, Calum’s already waiting for him.   
“Hey,” he says softly as Michael closes the door. Calum opens his arms and Michael lets himself being pulled into a hug.   
“He kissed me,” he cries into Calum’s shoulder.  
“What? When?” Calum asks, rubbing his back softly.   
“When I was leaving. I was mentally prepared to leave him alone forever and move on. And he just kisses me. It’s not fair. I hate him,” he sniffs.   
“You don’t, that’s the problem,” Calum says sadly. 

Michael spends the next week in his room, he’s doing all the standard post break up things. And okay, maybe he’s doing them for the second time now but he plans to do it right this time. He’s sitting in his bed eating chocolate while watching daredevil. He’s been in this position for two hours now and is not planning on moving.   
“Mikey?” Calum calls from the other side of the apartment.  
“What?” he calls back, shoving a piece of chocolate in his mouth.   
“Could you come here for a sec?”   
“I’m watching Netflix,” he complains.  
“There’s someone here,” Calum calls irritably now. Michael huffs but climbs out of bed.  
He runs his hands through his hair a few times in case there is someone serious in their house, he probably looks horrible after all.

“Who’s it?” he asks uninterested as he walks to Calum by the door.  
“Hi,” Luke says quietly. Michael stares at him with wide eyes before he can react.   
“Uh, hi,” he mumbles. Calum pats him on the back and walks to his room.  
“Can I come in?” Luke asks carefully. Michael nods and takes a step so Luke can come in. Luke walks inside and stands in the middle of the room awkwardly.  
“Warped tour was amazing, I wanted to thank you for that again,” he breaks the silence.  
“You’re welcome,” Michael responds with a slight smile.  
“Did you come here to tell me that?” He’s not trying to be rude, he just can’t handle being around Luke, he’s getting over him for god’s sake!

“No,” Luke begins. There falls a silence.  
“I kissed you,” Luke states.   
“I know,” Michael says.  
“And I didn’t even know why at first, because I kept telling you I didn’t want it anymore. And then you leave and I kiss you,” Luke says, sounding frustrated with himself.  
“It’s fine,” Michael tries but Luke shakes his head firmly.  
“It’s not fine, Michael! I was there alone and I didn’t understand what was missing because I always wanted to go. But you weren’t there. That’s what was missing.” Michael doesn’t reply and just looks at him.  
“What do you want, Luke? I can’t do this anymore. I love you and you need to let me get over you,” he says.   
“I don’t want you to,” Luke says louder. The silence that falls is filled with tension.  
“I know we fucked up a lot. And we fight a lot. And I know I complain a lot and push you all the time when you’re not ready. But I still want you. I’ve never stopped. I want to be with you, all the time. Even if you want to live with Calum for another 10 years, I still want to be with you,” Luke tells him.  
“And I know I’m late. It’s not fair towards you and I don’t expect you to feel the same. But just know that I still want you, if you want me back,” Luke says, he’s crying now. Michael probably is too.  
“Luke,” he begins. He holds Luke’s hand in his and looks at it. Luke sniffs.   
“Do you?” Luke asks in a small voice. Michael doesn’t answer, he leans in and kisses him. Luke makes a noise as he grabs Michael’s shirt. 

He pulls him closer against his body, in a way he always did but now finally is back. Luke’s hands find their way to Michael’s cheek. He’s caressing them softly while they kiss slowly. Michael pulls back a little, staying in Luke’s space.  
“Of course. Of course I do,” he assures him. Luke lets out a laugh mixed with a sniffle as he closes the distance between them again.   
“I love you, I love you,” Luke keeps mumbling against Michael’s lips. He tugs at Michael’s shirt.   
“Calum’s in his room,” Michael breathes against Luke’s neck. Luke lets out an annoyed groan.  
“Damn Calum,” he giggles. Michael smiles too.  
“He’s going to be so fucking happy, I promise.”

Calum turns out to be indeed happy. He tells Luke to never hurt him like that anymore though. Luke lets him and kisses Michael to prove that he’s not planning on hurting him again. On work, they’re happy too.  
“You and loverboy are back together then?” Harry asks with a grin as he sees the hickey on his neck. Michael blushes which results in Ashton squeaking and urging him to spill.  
“How’s it gonna work then? You obviously broke up because you two were on different pages. How did that change?”  
“Well, we’re moving in together soon,” he confesses quietly. Ashton slaps him in excitement.   
“Michael! That’s amazing! I’m so happy for you!” he squeals. Michael smiles. 

He came with the idea after a month. He told Calum, who was sad but will forever deny it. When he told Luke, he was ecstatic.   
“Baby,” Michael begins softly as he kisses up Luke’s bare chest. Luke hums, continuing running his hands through Michael’s hair. Michael licks over Luke’s nipple and he gasps softly. He sighs when Michael kisses his collarbones, up his neck and jaw.  
“What is it?” Luke asks, not seeming to really care that much.  
“I want something,” Michael says with a grin. He sucks on Luke’s neck, making Luke groan.  
“What do you want? I’ll give it to you, baby,” Luke mumbles, scratching Michael’s back. Michael hisses and kisses Luke on the mouth quickly.

“I want to do this all the time, without having to worry,” he starts. He kisses Luke’s hipbones gently.  
“About Calum barging in on us,” he continues. He kisses Luke’s thighs slowly. Open mouthed kisses, closer to where Luke wants him to put his mouth.  
“About me leaving my stuff home,” he continues, his mouth hovering over Luke’s cock. 

“Michael,” Luke whines and pulls his hair. Michael chuckles and kisses Luke’s cock gently. Luke moans, pushing his hips up into Michael’s face.  
“If only we lived together,” he mumbles softly before sucking on the tip. Luke makes a noise like he’s dying. Michael’s not sure if it’s because of what he said or his mouth but prefers to think it’s both.   
“Do you mean that?” Luke gasps.   
“Yeah,” Michael replies before sucking him but he’s stopped and being rolled over quickly.   
Luke’s on top of him immediately, kissing the life out of him.  
“You wan to move in?” he asks excitedly. Michael nods with a smile, which makes Luke kiss him even more. All over his face.   
“I love you, I love you. I mean I also love you when we don’t live together but I love you so much,” he rambles.  
“I love you too,” Michael assures him, kissing him back.

“Now, do you want me to do something about this?” Michael asks and reaches down to jerk Luke off. Luke bats his hand away, pushes Michael’s hands above his head.  
“How about I fuck you? This is a very special occasion,” Luke teases. Michael snorts.  
“Does that mean that when we live together you’re gonna be fucking me all the time?”  
“Depends, would you want that?” Luke asks teasingly. Michael grins. He pokes Luke’s cheek.  
“Of course,” he teases back. Luke’s eyes lit up at the words. Michael returns his smile. Like before, they’re all smiles that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay happy ending!!  
> ok I'm lowkey planning on writing an only smut sequel to this lemme know if y'all want that.
> 
> find me @softandpersistent.tumblr.com
> 
> Thanks for reading!! xx


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